Do Not Let Go
by donnaspecter
Summary: -He was looking at her, how she finally removed the stain from her upper lip and how he was barely breathing from all the laughter. How she drank from that glass of scotch and that brought up so many beautiful memories. It was like a moment that surpassed everything that has ever happened to him before.-Darvey (Donna and Harvey) fanfic. One Shot. Angst and Romance. Enjoy -A x


**Here with another #darveyweek fic. Now this authors note has a huge 5x11 spoiler so if u don't want to be spoiled just skip to the story without reading this note.**

 **-We found out at the screening of Suits which was today- 22** **nd** **of January that Donna does go back to work for Harvey in 5b. This story was inspired by that information.**

 **-Today is Stephanie´s birthday, she is an amazing person and I want to wish you a happy bday here 2 love! Hope it's a good one! Xx**

* * *

They were close again, just not in the way they would have imagined or wanted at this point in their lives. They were close literally- as he was sitting on one end of the couch in his office, comfortably enjoying a minute of silence and she on the other- with a box of food in her hands, finding happiness in a short moment of peace, no interruption and only comfort. Or as close to the word that they managed to come now on a daily basis of working together on this case that wrapped them all into a mess from which they saw no ending what so ever.

But that's the only way they were really close. She was still the Sun in his Solar system and he was still that ice cube she wished to melt but somehow they were separated by thousands of kilometers. She was fighting with him but not for him. And that was okay- he knew it was his time to do so, It was his time to speak up, to say "Hey, lets just stop for a second and talk" but that just doesn't seem to happen. There is always this mess or that problem, that person they want to question or another lawyer wanting to take over what was left of this firm and at the end of the day, deep into the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning they are sitting, eating and talking about everything that comes to their minds.

"This is soo good" she mumbled and he looked at her, smiling. There was a piece of food on her upper lip and she was trying desperately to lick it off and he was enjoying it more than he should have- they were _just friends_ after all. She saw his amusement and she rolled her eyes "Can u just stop staring and help me?"

He shook his head, for the first time in days a genuine smile spread across his face as he saw her wipe the food away with her palm, spreading the sauce even further up her face and he cracked, started laughing at the sight of her. "God I want to wipe that stupid smirk off of your face, stop laughing Specter" she joked back, giving up and she took her glass of scotch and drank it, the liquor burning her throat in a way that reminded her of him.

He was looking at her, how she finally removed the stain from her upper lip and how he was barely breathing from all the laughter. How she drank from that glass of scotch and that brought up so many beautiful memories and how comfortable she was. Something snapped inside of him, it was like a moment that surpassed everything that has ever happened to him.

It was like seeing his life flash in front of him. Seeing how he has misplaced all the important feelings and thoughts over so many years that it all became a blur, but he could still remember all she ever said. Seeing how he loves her, he literally loves her so much he would jump of a cliff if she told him to and he would trust her until he landed in the sea and got lost between the waves of her undying love. He was in love with this remarkable woman sitting in front of him who ran with him through hell and back, who gave up all she ever hopped to be for his dreams and he loved her. He just did. And it scared him but it also gave him life and a light in this mess that it all became.

She saw him stare, just like he did before, like he did many times but this time it looked like he was actually aware of the way he was looking. Their eyes locked for a second but her heart was about to burst out of her chest as she asked "what? Is there something on my face again?" and he didn't even think for a second before he answered "nah…I just missed you"

She was short of breath, this whole situation was one of those moments they have had before- working together late but as much as it was the same it was also totally different, he didn't seem one foot out and one in- he was laying all cards on the table and she was too scared to look at what they meant. She took the safe approach as always. "I am right here. Not going anywhere" and he exhaled, words he had heard her say before, before his world crumbled at the mere taste of his life without her and it all came down crashing after that.

* * *

"What are we doing?" he asked then, his eyes reaching her lips and travelling all over her body, tracing all the lines with his eyes- ones he suddenly felt an urge to touch. And it scared him to death how a small moment made him feel and realize all he was afraid to feel, didn't let himself to experience until minutes ago.

She exhaled, reaching for the file on the small desk in front of the couch, her hands shaky. "Well..we have about hundred of pages left of these past cases Anita Gibbs worked on and then…" but he reached for the file then, slamming it down back on the table and their gazes met for a mere second before she looked down again, their hands lightly touching.

"I didn't mean it that way Donna" he whispered then, still not removing his hand from hers and she felt hot, in desperate need for someone to interrupt or to deliver another bad news as this felt like the most life threating situation of all.

"I know" she whispered back "please lets forget about it" she added, feeling like that was all she was doing for the past 12 years anyway. "I am done forgetting about it, I am soo done ignoring and forgetting and not breaking the rules that are meant to be broken." He said, his voice firm and solid- he was fighting for her and she could hear it, even see it in his eyes.

"Rules are there for reasons, maybe you should have thought about that" she answered back, her body tensed and there was no way she was going back from this- it felt like this was when its all over between them- this is when he gets scared again and runs for the hills and she goes home and promises herself to let go, to finally set herself free. But that didn't happen, the material of his trousers made a noise that woke her from deep thoughts as he moved closer to her.

"I don't know how to win this case" and she swallowed- she was right, he was ignoring it, or so she thought. "I don't know if I will ever taste the feeling of winning another case in court again and I don't know if there will be any family left for me when this passes. And I kept thinking about it…" he proceeded to explain but she had a short patience when it came to him explaining things that could concern her, that was her guard- interrupting him before he had a chance to say something stupid.

"and I realized, there is this one challenge I have always wanted desperately to win but couldn't because I didn't even have the courage to fight for it. But I am done fighting unimportant battles because I love you goddamn it Donna, I love you so much its driving me crazy. I cant function without you but I know you deserve better. I want to have all of you and everything with you but I know that you should have that with someone far better from me and it fucking kills me every day how far you have gotten into my heart without me noticing. And the funny thing is? I am dying inside and my heart will explode at the feelings bursting but you get a fucking sauce all over your lips and I laugh at you and all I can think about is getting that off with my lips and I have no idea whats happening to me. Don't you get that? I cant fucking forget Donna, you are everywhere."

* * *

She automatically puts her hands on the couch, her fingers digging into the material, the tension growing and her eyes water. She is about to explode but she manages to keep herself together, after everything she has to ask "love me how? That's all. Love. Me. How?" she whispers, its soft but strong and it hits him into the heart. He feels like having a panic attack, knowing that if he doesn't answer now, it will never be answered and he wont have a chance to anyway.

"Donna" he sights, his heart beating out of his chest and she looks up, their eyes locking and she whispers back "Harvey" and its hot and tense and she has that look in her eyes- one he has only seen once before and had never been able to forget.

He swallowed, his eyes looking for a confirmation on her side until he was taken aback by her slowly standing up and smoothing her dress, she exhaled loudly and tried to walk out. He was confused- she was running away. His fingers traced her arm until they reached her wrist and she looked down- acknowledging the heat that rose in the pith of her stomach at the mere physical contact and she looked up, looking for an explanation, giving him the last chance to answer her question, one she has asked one to many times.

"I love you in the way I would rather let you go if that made you happy than to do what would make me happy" and she frowned, her face giving away the confusion "because you would make me happy." He added, his eyes searching for something- a sign, anything. She didn't move, she just whispered "don't let me go."

And he didn't.

* * *

She repeated her words, she repeated them so many times her eyes watered again and she walked until her back hit his desk and it shook in the contrast and her back hurt. And he was there every step of the way kissing every inch of her body, holding her so close it felt like he was actually physically not letting her go. She was having trouble breathing, as his fingers traced her curves and she had to sit on the desk to regain concentration.

As she heard the computer fall onto the ground from the desk she couldn't help but think the noise represented her rule being broken into thousands of pieces, the feeling of warmth and tension that he brought as he left kisses down her now bare front felt like the line being crossed in each way possible and as she unbuttoned his shirt and took off his trousers she let go of her fears and fights and she was lost completely as he entered, not letting her eyes wander away for even a second. She dug her nails into his back and they moved in perfect synchronization and it was like a look into the past- of what they were and into the future-of what they will work on being.

And she moaned his name so many times she was sure it will be carved into the walls of the office that held most of their history and he kissed her until he was sure his lips will never taste the same again.

They were lost, spend, lying on the desk and the floor and the couch and in the lowest point of their lives when everything was slowly falling apart they kept the most important thing together.

Finally not letting go of each other.

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 **I hope you all enjoyed this! Leave a review if u want. Ly!**

 **-A xx**


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